She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize