Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
