Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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