My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
