I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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