i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
