We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
