You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
