its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
