after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
