and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize