Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
