No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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