What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
