My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The best revenge is premature balding
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
