she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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