Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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