i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
