Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
