If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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