She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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