it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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