I wish my penis had an off switch
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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