I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
