My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
