I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
