You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's shark week go big or go home
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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