Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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