just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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