just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I party with great urgency now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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