I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
