he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
