I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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