hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
