It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
