Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
