hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize