youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
