i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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