just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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