we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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