I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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