If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Too much gin, very little bucket
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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