i would punch a child for taco bell
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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