She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
