Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
