Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
