He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
