We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
