I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
