since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
