You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i think i just lost a toe
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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