That's intense
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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