U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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