Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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