Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
