it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
